A Taxonomy of Grimps

Grimps are mysterious creatures known to shift shape and form to elude precise identification. Nevertheless, with diligent sampling and observation, we might be able to arrive at a definitive answer regarding the precise nature of these creatures.

By the Dictionary

Mr. Merriam Webster Esq. offers a simple definition of the word grimp

grimp - intransitive verb -ed/-ing/-s

1. CLIMB
2. to draw up (the line grimped into a hard knot)

Unfortunately, the grimp in this case found a way to contort itself into a verb, rather than staying as it's native noun. Nevertheless, it was unable to disguise the true nature of its climbing and drawing skills.

Final Fantasy

The first game of the Final Fantasy series contains living grimp specimens:

The capitalization here is curious -- the lowercase r of the GrIMP implies that the "Gr" is a prefix, but it's precise definition nonetheless eludes precise identification. Some suggest that it means "great", but this is doubtful considering it appears to be of normal size and social status. Other interpretations are even more doubtful, such as "grey" (?) or "grass" (??) or even "grotesque" (???).

The closest thing we have to a proper answer in this case is "grape", owing to its more bluish-purple hue.

Everquest

I don't know what Everquest is, but my research shows that it too is the home of some grimps:

In this case, it appears to be a hybrid of a "gryphon" and an "imp". Thus, we see that although it's form appears quite different from the previous entry, the "Gr" prefix characteristic still remains.

Music

Some grimps appear to be musicians, such as the one(s?) that released this album:

Apple Music claims that this is an "electronic" album, even though it's clear from the cover art that the "gr" in grimp is meant to be short for "grunge" -- typical grimpish tricksteriness, playing games with genres like that.

(Sorry, I'm not going to listen to the music to determine if any of this is correct. My apologies to any band members/fans reading this.)

Maps

Other grimps appear to make maps!

Are they trying to accelerate global warming, stop it, or just catalogue its effects? It's hard to say, but at the very least NASA is giving them funding (NASA refuses to clarify their relationship with the grimps).

One presumes other grimps are mapping the countries of Greece or Grenada, though perhaps their population is low enough that they can't spare the labor. If only there was a galaxy-wide Grimp Census (grimpsus?).

Spoortle

I don't know what this is, but I love it.

Stock Images

Websites for stock images appear to have Grimp Content:

The two main categories of grimp found here are the Grim Reaper and firefighters (!?). I don't understand how the latter fits into this, but from our previous conclusions it's easy to see how Mr. Grim himself does.

As a brief aside, it is surprising that the Grim Reaper works pro bono. Is he getting some secret kickbacks? Is his boss committing wage theft? Or perhaps is he doing this for the thrill of the hunt? Whatever the case may be, it is clear that he is history's greatest murderer, and the fact that he has not been put in jail is ample evidence that our law enforcement system cares not for human suffering. Such a sad univarse we live in. ;_;

CMC

I was surprised to find this one, but I guess it explains the firefighters from earlier:

Apparently "GRIMP" in this context refers to an "international rescue skills challenge". A lot of firefighter teams appear to be involved. Judging by the gear they're all wearing, this appears to relate to the dictionary definition of grimp.

While they're practicing their rescue skills, could one of these teams rehabilitate the reputation of grimps everywhere by defeating the Grim Reaper, or would they be constrained by the spirit of Grimp Solidarity?

Based Grimp

Last but not least, we have this lovely specimen from Deep Space Nine:

The Star Trek wikipedia clone has these words to say:

Memory Alpha

Grimp was a Ferengi waiter at Quark's in 2372.

Although he was hesitant to break ten thousand years of Ferengi tradition, Grimp joined Rom's Guild of Restaurant and Casino Employees to protest Quark's unfair labor practices. (DS9: "Bar Association")

Great grimp.

Conclusion

Grimps appear to either be skilled climbers, or do something that pertains to the letters "gr". Some appear benign, others impish, and others flat-out malevolent. Whether these creatures are as much of a threat to galactic civilation as their reputation suggests is a matter that requires further inquiry.

Do you know of any grimps that we missed? Send us a message to let us know! We're always looking for more grimps.