Mailbag: Zero Missives

Welcome to the first (or zeroeth?) commemorative mailbag extravaganza! Questions for this mailbag were sourced from the official Samantha Arantes Bulletin System, with one bonus question coming from some website known as Discord (???).

In the future mailbags will source questions using the "Asks" feature on Cohost. While this mailbag might be a bit small and perfunctory, I am publishing it in its current state mostly to serve as an example for askers on Cohost. Even you, dear reader without an account, can ask me questions here!

Without further ado, let's open some mail!

Our first message comes from a mysterious cat. I wonder who she could be...

Neko says:

Nya! You're the cats meow! Smiley holding rose

awww shucks :3

Next, we have a world famous artist! You might be familiar with their work as seen in dozens upon dozens of GameFAQs walkthroughs from back in the day.

VeniVidiAscii suggests:

This website is so pre-Homestar Runner era internet can't handle it. Crying face Consider renaming it to "The Odyssey of Zebeth" but not really, that's just a joke. Okay bye! Waving face

Thanks Grinning face but who is Zelizebeth??? Confused nerd Looking side to side

Finally, an actual question:

cania contemplates:

turning this into a forum starting right now: everyone tell me your favorite uh


metroid enemy

i like geemers

I'm personally a fan of Dessgeegas myself. Like, their name was clearly supposed to be romanized as "DEATHGIGAS", but whoever translated the manual for the original game decided to give them a name more befitting of a scrunkly scrimblo bimblo. It's very funny. Bonus points for being completely unrelated to the humble Geega.

The Gunzoo from Metroid 2 is also pretty fun, because what else are you gonna call a robot with 3 different guns?

This next one is from someone who goes by "q 3." It's a simple name, but I dig it.

q 3 quips:


welcome :3c

And here we have another proper question (not that I don't mind the hellos and congarts and such):

lnc0 likes to ask about little guys:

Off the back of the Metroid question, what is your favourite Little Guy Enemy fact? Mine is the developing evolutionary tree of the Goomba/Galoomba/Goombrat. How many of the little guys are there!?

My favorite Little Guy Enemy fact is more of a trope: I like evolutionary lines that start off with cute little guys and end with monstrosities. One of my favorites is the Muzby line in Metroid Dread, which goes from Grub to Muzby to Goliath to Golzuna. The pre-evolution form (Grub) is just a cute little background creature that means no harm, while the last form is a big chonkin' boss with one of the best songs in the game. It's quite the glow-up. Little Birdie from Other M, and metroids themselves for that matter, are other excellent examples of this trope in the context of the Metroid series.

I will say, if the final form of a Little Guy is just some bipedal anthro fellow, then I tend to be retroactively less interested in the Little Guy (no offense to my bipedal anthro friends). This is why Fuecoco is the best Paldean starter Pokemon.

This is the question from Discord that was foretold long, long ago (at the top of the page):

Exister asks:

Does Samantha have frog dna in her?

Samantha Arantes looks towards the left, then to the right. To the right she see a fly buzzing. Instantly, she extends her froglike tongue to eat the fly, and then in the next instant she looks to the side like nothing happened

Thanks for reading! Please ask more questions!